Funeral with the kids...

Overall our summer is going great. We have had a bit of a sad patch lately however. On August 1st my cousin Scott passed away in a house fire. He was my first cousin, 34 years old. We had never really been close, grew up in different towns, spent a lot of time together with our families as kids but I hadn't seen him since my wedding almost 6 years ago.

All that said he was still my cousin and I have some fond memoires of him all the same. His father is my father's older brother. I wanted to be at the memorial this past Friday to show my respect and love to his parents and sister. I also have some issues with funerals. I never went to a funeral until I was about 13 years old. Starting with that funeral I have always been a mess when I attend them. Even if I barely knew the deceased I feel so much for the family that I always end up a sobbing mess.

This is why Jay took the day off work Friday to come to the service with me. I was conflicted with bringing the girls but in the end it worked out fine. The worst part was trying to explain everything to Lauren. I was not about to take her to a memorial and have her ask all of her questions in front of the family. I sat her down on the couch early last week and explained who Scott was, that he had died, that there was a fire, that he had breathed in too much smoke and fell asleep then died. It's a very tricky thing to discuss with an almost 5 year old. She is no longer the toddler that you can tell someone is an angel and leave it at that. She would have asked questions until she got the truth.

She took it all pretty well. I told her to ask whatever questions she had and that we would answer them. She asked quite a few things, all of them valid questions. Her next reaction was to try and make my Aunt and Uncle feel better. She drew several pictures of happy faces and sad faces. She said she wanted them to be happy. Then we sat and talked more about how it's ok to be sad sometimes. She came to understand that they miss Scott and they will be sad for awhile. I told her that they would probably still like her pictures though.

We made the drive up North to the memorial... there were other children there.. some of them jumping on the gravestones, one running through the service yelling "BATMAN" really loudly....(more than once) I wanted to tell his mother off but held back. My girls were really well behaved. I was very proud of them and think all the preparing paid off. Lauren knew to be quiet and show her respect but still had fun looking at all the flowers in the cemetary. Lainey is still little enough that she didn't ask what was happening and really didn't care. She was just happy to see my parents and play with her sister.

I have always tried to shelter my girls from things like this but have been learning as I go that honesty is ok when they get to Lauren's age. She can understand a lot more than I would have thought. On a lighter note I have also been faced with "how did I come out of your belly?" (she decided that she hadn't really come out of my belly button).... Why does it seem like I didn't even know that till I was in my teens!!!!! She's not even 5 yet!!!!!